Heroics
by its-amagicalplace
Summary: When Fitz begins to doubt himself, May reminds him he is a hero. (Spoilers for season 2)


**Can be read alone, but also ties in with my other fics _Lean On Me_ and _Fix You_.**

**Don't own the show or characters etc.**

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><p>"I can't do it with you bloody hovering over me all the time!" Fitz shouted, before leaning against the work-surface in front of him, breathing heavily and closing his eyes. He shouldn't have flipped out at her, he knew she was only trying to help, but the fact she'd walked in and found him talking to himself had already left him halfway between embarrassed and hopeless. Recently, Fitz found himself feeling more and more wound up as he tried to get on with his job, whilst battling the demons in his mind that threatened to take away his sanity.<p>

May just stood and watched him, patiently waiting for him to continue. Neither a hallucination nor an emotional outburst were enough to scare her away; she'd been privy to plenty of the latter during her time in SHIELD, and even more so since everything had fallen apart. She could only imagine how much pressure Fitz felt like he was under too, and was sure as hell she wasn't going to let him feel like he was on his own.

She'd come down to the lab to see if he could run some tests on a fragment of metal they had uncovered on a previous mission, but she could see immediately that he was currently not in the right state of mind to be running diagnostics, let alone be working in the lab, and she was determined to try and help in some way without making him feel inadequate.

"Sorry, May, I just…" he sighed, and turned back to face her.

"You have no reason to apologise" she said softly. "It's completely understandable for you to be feeling like you do right now."

"Everyone expects me to do this, hell, I expect me to do this. But what use am I when I can't even…" he shook his head, and the fleeting expression of self-doubt that crossed his face nearly broke May's heart. "Maybe it would be better, you know, if I wasn't here, if I just….you know…."

"Left?"

"Yeah…the team…you don't…you don't need me anymore" he finished resignedly. It was the first time he had admitted to another person in the base that he wasn't sure he was capable of carrying on, and the confession released a small amount of tension from his body – it was a relief that he'd said it out loud.

"Now you listen to me" May said firmly, taking a step towards him. Fitz glanced up at her, and could see that all too familiar look of steely determination resonating off her face. "This team is still alive because of you."

He shook his head slightly, dropping it towards the ground and focusing on his shoes, mumbling something about that not being true. He had expected her to leave as soon as she'd arrived; everyone else did when they caught him talking to Jemma…he made them feel uncomfortable, unsure how to react. To his surprise however, May stayed, reaching out and resting her fingertips under his chin, gently bringing his face back up to look at her. He wasn't sure if the two of them had ever actual made any form of physical contact, and he knew she was more reserved than any of them anyway, but her touch was soothing in a way he couldn't explain, and he suddenly felt a strong desire to hug her.

"Back at The Hub," she continued, not breaking eye contact with him, "You saved my life by shooting a HYDRA agent. You saved Coulson's life too, by throwing him the stun grenade when Garrett was attacking him. And I know this hasn't been said enough, but I hope you know Fitz that I will be forever grateful for what you did there."

"It was nothing…"

"Yes it was. It was heroic. And -" she carried on, dropping her hand away slowly, "- I don't know entirely what happened in the pod, and honestly, if you never want to talk about it, that's completely fine too, but according to Jemma you saved her life by sacrificing yourself."

Fitz's eyes filled with tears as she mentioned Jemma, and he brushed them away before they had the chance to fall. He missed his best friend more than anything in the world; he knew she wasn't really there, but he took some comfort from talking to her none-the-less.

"You are so brave Fitz" May added quietly. "You are a hero, and don't ever let anybody make you think any different."

"I can't speak properly, my brain…it doesn't…it doesn't….function right."

"And? You think that means you aren't still a part of this team?"

"I can't help. I'm not useful anymore, I can't do my job."

"It's not all about being useful. You're a part of this team," she smiled softly, but her words were filled with conviction. "Everybody here cares for you more than you realise. And I believe in you."

She reached out, and pulled him into a gentle hug. Fitz let her, partly because he was in a slight state of shock that she was being so open with him, and partly because he genuinely wanted to feel the comfort her embrace brought him. Since Jemma had left, he'd felt so alone, and the comfort of working side by side with her was gone. It was genuinely nice to talk to May, despite how much she still scared him slightly; he knew she shouldn't, but he'd seen her in the field and was well aware of what she was capable of. But he trusted her, and that was something he hoped to hold on to.

"Thank you" he murmured.

When she released him, he managed to find a smile, feeling for the first time in months that somebody was actually there.

He knew this fight against HYDRA was going to continue long into the future, but sometimes, it was the small moments in between that made everything worthwhile.

He returned to his microscope, and began examining the fragment she'd brought in earlier. May stayed a little while longer, and they both enjoyed the silence.

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><p><strong>Please review and let me know what you think!<strong>


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